What one can handle

By Angela

That saying that God never gives you more than you can handle is total bullshit.  I’m sorry but I’m being given so much more than I can handle all the time.  And, I believe that is the POINT.

Here’s the cool thing about having a very sensitive body in a fairly challenging life, there are constantly things that I cannot handle.  One thing I have learned is that there’s a reason I can’t handle it… I’m supposed to be asking for Divine support.  The problem is that until it’s really unbearable (I have a fairly high pain threshold), I forget to do that and try and do it myself. 

Fortunately, most of the time with smallish matters, this doesn’t go too far sideways but wow have I managed to mess some things up trying to do the BIG things alone.  And this current state of transformation and transition is not in any way smallish.  It feels huge.  I feel desperate (sometimes).  I feel excited (sometimes).  I feel confident (sometimes). AND more frighteningly, I feel FEAR (more than I want to admit).

I know that thoughts are powerful so waking up afraid makes me feel terrible on so many levels.  It creates a gigantic desire to check out, not permanently, but at least for a day or possibly a week.  It’s a double whammy really.  I feel scared that I can’t show up for what is possible for me.   But, truthfully, I am even more afraid of having fearful thoughts that are going to set up more lack and fear. 

It reminds me of the religious principle I grew up with which was this:  “If you even think about sinning it’s the same as doing it” . Yep, I actually believed that thinking about sinning was a bad as the actual sinning.  Yep, there was some trauma there.  I have to say; this is quite similar as now I’m in fear and just as afraid of having the fearful thoughts as experiencing the fear.

Unwinding this stuff as an adult is not easy which brings me back to my original point in this blog which is: I feel like I am constantly being given more than I can handle.  And to repeat myself:  THAT IS THE POINT.

This is an ongoing theme in my life, especially the part of me trying to manage anxiety and fear on my own.  I used exercise, then more exercise and a whole lot of food.  Alcohol came next, then drugs and alcohol.  Finally work stepped in to help me find and escape from the pain I was in.  

But now I am so committed to healing at this point in my life I am not going to any of my additions.  To be brutally honest, not one of those addictions will work for me today anyway. Once again, I am on my knees (metaphorically at least) reaching for the divine help that is surely here for me.

Here’s the thing that I KNOW to be true.  Divine help is always there.  When overwhelmed, feeling indecisive, or any fear then making it a habit to STOP and connect in any way to something bigger than yourself is a GREAT way to start dealing with it. Here are couple of my tools:

  1. Get honest with a trusted friend or my SE coach.  Get it up and get it out and get it over with.  This is KEY.  I need to be able to let whatever is ugly and yucky see the light of day so it can be healed.  My people will ALWAYS ask me, did you ask for guidance from the Divine?  “Uh, oh right.  No but okay, now I’m on it” is my usual answer.
  2. Listen to Depok Choprah’s 7 laws of Spiritual Success or Marianne Williamson’s book The Law of Divine Compensation or anything by Pam Grout.  These things remind me to SLOW DOWN and CONNECT.
  3. Get outside with Lucky. This is a surefire way to get me to remember that there is something bigger than me keeping things rolling.  Nature is the great reminder that everything is on track exactly where it should be.  There is no agenda with the growth and death of things outside.  The trees certainly aren’t worried about what’s going to happen next. The flowers are trying to “make things happen”.  

Because our culture is moving so fast (we are all so BUSY… yikes), it is easy to be overwhelmed and feel like we can’t handle everything.  As stated at the top we aren’t supposed to be able to handle everything.  There are solutions and one of them is to connect.

Hope June was amazing… Welcome to an awesome July!

PS-  One other note about this:  one other amazing tool for me to deal with overwhelm and fear is to do some Somatic Experiencing.  I have amazing tools (3 of them listed above) to connect with the Divine.  They are sitting there in my toolbox.  Sometimes however I feel like I can’t find the toolbox to pull them out. Somatic Experiencing sessions put the toolbox right within my reach.  The nervous system is a big unconscious driver so when the things that are blocking access to the toolbox are released through this amazing process using the body, help is more easily accessed. This has been a game changer for me. IF you want to learn more, I am IN for a conversation.  Let me know when and we’ll talk SE… it really is magic. 🙂

AngelaWhat one can handle