Long long ago when you were a little human, you developed grooves of behavior that shaped in to habits.
In fact, MOST of our daily behaviors including how we show up in relationships (work, friends, romance) is dictated by how we developed these grooves as kids. (no wonder relationships can be so tricky, we are showing up as 6-year-olds)
As you look back on your life, you’ll see places where there was a big transition and you learned new habits. Starting a new job or starting college or getting married or (such a fun one) getting divorced. Those transitions are notoriously hard and therefore remembered.
Part of what made them hard was that your grooves and routines were disrupted and you were forced to develop new habits.
Unfortunately, most of us don’t change habits because, hum, that’s a good idea. We change them because of pain.
Our jeans are too tight and we are already in the bigger size end of the closet (am I right?)
We are SICK of being single yet who is there to date? Or BORED of being married and why doesn’t he make me happier already?
Oh, Shit. My bone density is needling down to brittle.
Well, I think you get my point.
When it comes to INTENTIONALLY changing current habits without some big huge disruption (like a life-altering event) or even if you have hit the, “That’s IT. Line in the Sand” moment, there are some KEY things to know that will make this easier for you.
Before you dig in please know this.
No matter what your habits are and what you need to change. You are worthy of love that isn’t contingent on success with this. Do everything you can to connect to that idea because it will carry you into glory with your habits (much more powerful than guilt, shame and blame).
Yes, easier said than done, however gotta start somewhere.
#1. You will do habits differently than anyone else.
When it comes to habit strategies, Compare and Despair. If someone you know is making an awesome change, you follow their formula and can’t seem to stay on course, I imagine (if you are like me) that you’ll think you have failed. MAYBE it’s not you, it’s the wrong strategy. Ahhhh. CLICK HERE FOR MORE.
#2. Your big WHY is habit rocket Fuel
Make sure you are fully in LOVE with the habit change you want to make. MORE!
#3. Self-Sabotage is not because you suck.
Self-sabotage is almost always due to unresolved slow trauma. Focus on resolving the trauma rather than the behavior directly and you will be setting up success. CLICK for more.
#4. GO SMALL in order to have BIG CHANGE
Lots of change = Overwhelm and Freeze. Small step = a small win which will lead to another win and then another. Start Small. CLICK
#5. WHEN you choose your small habit, Choose wisely.
Part I. It’s important that your new small habit is actually going to move you toward where you want to go. (Which means clarity on where you truly want to go)
#5.5. When you choose your small habit, choose wisely.
Part II: Small enough to avoid overwhelm. Big enough to feel juicy. JUICY!! Click for More
#6. Focus on what IS working.
What’s going well fuels the motivation/inspiration fire. Look for the bright spots. CLICK
#7. Get sneaky and creative
Sometimes you can to go over the hill and around the bend rather than head on. Creativity is super handy for this. CLICK
#8. Slow is REAL It’s also sexy.
In a world of quick fixes there are not a lot of go slow messages however I imagine you can think of a few things (wink) that are way better slow. Habit shifts are one of them.
#9. Pull in the Reinforcements
Connection ROCKS as does accountability. What you cannot do alone, you CAN do with the proper support.
#10. Kick the Morality Clause to the curb
Healthy habits do not make you a good person. Stop attaching good and bad and just focus on what’s next and where you want to go. CLICK
#11. Let the Games Begin
Health habits are serious AND lighten up especially if you want to lose weight! (get it… lighter/lighten up)
#12. Embody and Identify with the change
I am that. Whatever it is that you are looking to change, make this your new mantra…
I AM a workout queen.
I AM an after dinner walker.
I AM the joy captain.
I AM.. you get it. more about this HERE,